Dear Me: A Letter to Your Future Self

Contributed by Nur Azeema Askan, Clinical Psychologist, Kinder Minds Therapy.

There’s something unsettling, even a little exciting about writing to a version of yourself that doesn’t exist yet.

You might have a clear picture of what your future self might look like. You might even find it hard to project so far into the future. You write the letter. And when the day finally arrives to read it, it’s like finding a treasure at the end of a treasure hunt.

Research has suggested that writing to one’s future self can have a positive impact on emotional well-being. It may help us recognise that current stressful events may be temporary, motivate us to use our coping strategies, reduce distressing sensations and promote a more positive state of mind.

What to write about?

There are no rules when it comes to writing to your future self. It’s almost like writing in a journal. The only difference is you write it, leave it, forget about it, and only receive it again in the future, like receiving a letter from a long-lost friend.

You can start by looking back. Write about the big or small things that happened recently.

What did you do? 

Who were you with?

How did those moments make you feel?

Which conversation has stayed with you?

What did you learn from the mistakes you made?

Then, look ahead. Be curious about your future self and ask yourself a few questions.

Will you still look the same?

Will you still think that cakes can solve your problems?

Did you learn that baggy pants were never a good idea for you?

Did you finally travel to that place you’ve been planning to visit forever?

Did you still carry the same dream that you held onto so closely, or has it transformed into something that aligns more closely with your personal values?

And an equally important question:

Did you manage to handle it?

The worry. The disappointment. The frustration.

Was it all worth it?

Or.. did you also manage to notice the small, small things?

Ice cream.

Friendly cats.

The smell of old books.

Finding some forgotten cash in your wallet.

Getting green lights all the way during your commute.

Opening the fridge and realising you still have some cake left.

Or you can choose to be kind.er to yourself. Write helpful messages for unhelpful moments. 

Include gentle reminders, encouraging words, or anything that could potentially lift your mood. 

Life is full of ups and downs, but that doesn’t have to be the reason you crumble. You’re still making a meaningful impact, even in ways you may not notice yet. 

Even if there’s only 1% progress, it’s still progress. One step forward is better than none. 

When to receive the letter?

This is entirely up to you. Significant dates are popular. You could write the letter for your next birthday, or a personal milestone. 

It could become your own little tradition. Every year on your birthday, write a letter to your future self to receive exactly one year from now.

You might be surprised by how much you’ve grown, how much you’ve accomplished, and how much the things in the past don’t bother you anymore. Most importantly, you may realise just how proud you are of the version of yourself who wrote that letter.

When (future) you receives the letter

Have a go at responding to the letter from your past self. 

Perhaps things are at least slightly better than expected.

Perhaps you managed to go through it all.

Perhaps life isn’t so scary after all.

Perhaps you’re stronger than you gave yourself credit for.

Acknowledge the pain that happened, or the pain you might still be carrying. The world may or may not get better but tell your past self that no matter what happens, you’re still here.

You’re still trying.

You’re still living.

At the end of the day, you choose to carry on and believe in yourself. Perhaps that’s the greatest gift you could ever give.

So, why not write a letter to yourself today? You might be surprised by what your future self has to say.